Friday, April 14, 2006

I'm Not a Saleswoman Either

If I had a job in sales I would starve to death. I suck at selling things, even my own products. I enjoy going to the first farmer's markets' of the season then I don't want to go anymore. I hate standing behind my table and having to smile at everyone that walks by even on days I don't feel happy. I really don't like small talk either. I have made some great friends since I've been at market the last two years. My favorite vendor is tomato man.

Tomato man is an older hippy that only sells his greenhouse tomatoes and cucumbers. That's it- tomatoes and cucumbers. You should see the lines he has at his table every market! He has been doing this for 20 years and has a loyal customer base. I think he told me he sold over 600 pounds of tomatoes in the three hour span of market. Tomato man kinda took me under his wing when I first started selling. He'll save me a spot so I can park next to him at market. I think he does this so he can sell my products for me. He knows I suck at sales. He would try to give me advice at the beginning such as- smile at people and say "hi", offer people soap samples or say something nice about their kids. I think he's figured out I'm a lost cause because now he just sells my shit for me when he isn't busy with his own customers. I think tomato man could sell a flea ridden dog if you asked him. He'll say "You've got to try her eggs, they are the best eggs in the world. The yolks are the color of oranges and stand high." or "We only use her shampoo bars, they last over 50 washes and my wife has color treated hair." He probably sells 20% of my income, I'm afraid one day he will ask for commission.

I tried to think about why I hate sales so much. I think it's because I hate bullshit. I saw this little girl at market yesterday dressed up in a Cinderella costume. She was running around(tiara and all) thinking she was a princess and her costume was getting filthy. One of the vendors said "Oh my what a lovely dress, could I borrow it?" Number one, the dress wasn't so lovely. Number two, there is no way this vendor could fit into this 4 year olds dress. Number three, I don't think the Mom should let the kid be Cinderella when it's not Halloween. Halloween won't be special if you can be Cinderella every day. I can't just say things just to make a sale, I don't want it that much.

I also need to go to a smart ass/quick comeback school. I am not good at thinking of witty things to say when people are rude. For example, I sell bath bombs in big glass jars. People can choose which ones they want and I wrap them up. Some guy comes up to my table and says he wants to buy a "couple" of bath bombs. I say, "So you want like three of the "rise and shine" ones?" He responds "Three? I said a couple. You must be kinky." Okay, this is when I about lose it. I want to hurl a bathbomb at his dome piece and yell "You perverted shithead. Just give me a number!" But oh no, I've got to smile and wrap his bathbomb while he's having some sick fantasy in his mind. I come home and tell my husband about bathbomb manage-a-trios man. My husband rattles off ten stinging comebacks in a matter of seconds. I'm slow in the witty department.

Because I was rushing to get to market yesterday, I left my bike in the van. A male customer started talking to me about his younger days and bike riding. He happened to come right when we were closing and I am so ready to leave. I'm packing up my stuff and half listening because I don't really like small talk. He says "Did you hear me? What's the PSI on your tires?" I start laughing because it's the funniest question anyone has asked me all day. Maybe he thought I was a dipshit and didn't know. Who really would care about my tires and PSI? Once again, I was racking my brain for a witty response but "120 psi" was all that came out.

People really wear me out. When I get home from market on Thursday nights, it's difficult for me to talk. I'm tired of talking. I make my husband answer the phone and take messages. He understands about my people problems. He'll always have a meal prepared for me on Thursday nights and a bottle of red wine opened. I usually drink a lot too on Thursday nights, then I start talking again.

Just so it's clear: Mary Kay would never hire me.

17 Comments:

At 9:11 AM, Blogger nancytoby said...

LOL! I'm totally with you! I hate selling anything. There are people with a certain talent for self-promotion, but it seems to me that about 95% of them are assholes. :-)

 
At 9:56 PM, Blogger Robin said...

That is one of your best posts. I, too HATE SELLING and HATE SMALL TALK. Hate it. I hear you sister. Tomato man sounds like a cool guy, though. Stick with him...soundsliek he will take your soaps and eggs far....

:)

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger Jessica A. Freas "Freeze" said...

LOL AGAIN! I agree! I laughed a lot during this one and I learned a couple things: You hate selling, you hate bullshit, you hate most people (I know that there is people out there that you like), you are not whitty, Tomato man is one person that you like (is that all he really sells?), and big one - I KNOW NOT TO CALL YOU ON THURSDAY NIGHTS UNLESS YOU CALL ME!

Hey, I can come Thursday and if that guy comes back that talked shit to you, I will kick his ass!

 
At 2:52 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike air max, kate spade outlet online, longchamp outlet online, tory burch outlet online, louis vuitton, christian louboutin, polo ralph lauren, ray ban outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, true religion, louis vuitton outlet online, kate spade outlet, coach purses, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, christian louboutin outlet, tiffany and co jewelry, red bottom shoes, christian louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, tiffany jewelry, oakley sunglasses, true religion outlet, prada handbags, longchamp outlet, burberry outlet online, nike outlet, michael kors handbags, coach outlet, oakley vault, gucci handbags, nike free, longchamp handbags, coach outlet store online, prada outlet, louis vuitton handbags, burberry outlet online, coach outlet, michael kors outlet store, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet online, jordan shoes

 
At 2:57 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike air max, guess pas cher, sac michael kors, louis vuitton uk, true religion jeans, michael kors canada, converse pas cher, hermes pas cher, scarpe hogan, lululemon, michael kors uk, sac vanessa bruno, air jordan, timberland, oakley pas cher, nike free, lacoste pas cher, hollister, ray ban pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, north face pas cher, longchamp, mulberry, longchamp pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, burberry pas cher, chaussure louboutin, nike free pas cher, barbour, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, air max pas cher, air max, louis vuitton pas cher, north face, ralph lauren, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, tn pas cher, louis vuitton, nike roshe, hollister, nike air force, true religion outlet, sac louis vuitton, ray ban uk, new balance pas cher

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

north face jackets, canada goose, lululemon outlet, instyler ionic styler, ugg boots, babyliss pro, jimmy choo shoes, wedding dresses, canada goose outlet, marc jacobs outlet, uggs outlet, new balance outlet, mac cosmetics, nike trainers, chi flat iron, celine handbags, beats headphones, insanity workout, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, herve leger, mont blanc pens, abercrombie and fitch, birkin bag, ugg, asics shoes, ugg soldes, uggs on sale, north face outlet, reebok shoes, hollister, nike huarache, nike roshe, mcm handbags, bottega veneta, longchamp, giuseppe zanotti, replica watches, uggs outlet, p90x workout, ugg boots, soccer jerseys, ghd, nfl jerseys, canada goose outlet, vans outlet, soccer shoes, canada goose outlet, ugg outlet

 
At 3:14 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

timberland shoes, replica watches, iphone 6 case, moncler outlet, converse shoes, canada goose pas cher, baseball bats, uggs canada, lancel, hollister, canada goose, louis vuitton canada, coach outlet, vans, montre femme, parajumpers outlet, canada goose uk, wedding dress, gucci, canada goose, pandora jewelry, moncler, moncler, moncler, ralph lauren, moncler, oakley, moncler, swarovski jewelry, pandora uk, swarovski uk, toms outlet, louboutin, moncler, ray ban, hollister canada, nike air max, ugg, links of london uk, converse, juicy couture outlet, thomas sabo uk, karen millen, air max, hollister clothing, supra shoes, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 10.29
nike free, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, air max, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet, rolex watches, tiffany and co, ugg outlet, polo ralph lauren, oakley sunglasses, longchamp handbags, jordan shoes, ray ban sunglasses, air max, oakley sunglasses cheap, louboutin, louis vuitton, burberry outlet, kate spade outlet, prada outlet, uggs, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, louis vuitton outlet stores, coach outlet, gucci outlet, nike shoes, michael kors outlet online sale, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, ugg boots clearance, prada handbags, louboutin shoes, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, cheap uggs, kate spade handbags, louboutin outlet, christian louboutin, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co, uggs outlet

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

michael kors outlet, nike free, michael kors uk, true religion jeans, hollister, hogan outlet, abercrombie and fitch, north face, true religion outlet, sac longchamp pas cher, nike tn, coach outlet store online, nike air max, nike trainers, lululemon outlet online, michael kors, nike air force, north face, nike roshe run pas cher, air max, true religion outlet, ray ban pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, polo lacoste, polo ralph lauren, longchamp, coach purses, new balance pas cher, louboutin, sac burberry, mulberry, nike huaraches, sac hermes, air max pas cher, coach factory outlet, ralph lauren, vans pas cher, nike roshe, oakley pas cher, vanessa bruno, converse pas cher, hollister, sac guess, air max, hollister, nike free pas cher, air jordan, timberland, true religion jeans, michael kors pas cher, longchamp

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

north face jackets, nfl jerseys, p90x, soccer shoes, instyler, air max, iphone 6s cases, louboutin, mcm handbags, north face outlet, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, nike roshe run, chi flat iron, converse, insanity workout, vans, air max, mac cosmetics, ray ban, wedding dresses, babyliss pro, timberland boots, iphone 6s plus cases, vans shoes, asics running shoes, gucci, abercrombie and fitch, reebok outlet, lululemon outlet, beats by dre, baseball bats, abercrombie, s6 case, ghd, ipad cases, celine handbags, ralph lauren, soccer jerseys, bottega veneta, oakley, mont blanc, jimmy choo outlet, hollister clothing store, new balance shoes, iphone cases, birkin bag, herve leger, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 plus cases, giuseppe zanotti, iphone 6 cases, nike blazer

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

juicy couture outlet, swarovski, swarovski crystal, ugg, hollister, barbour, moncler, moncler, canada goose, montre homme, ugg pas cher, michael kors outlet, moncler, canada goose, ugg, converse shoes, toms shoes, moncler, louis vuitton uk, ugg, canada goose, pandora jewelry, wedding dresses, doke gabbana, pandora jewelry, marc jacobs, thomas sabo, canada goose jackets, links of london, sac louis vuitton, moncler outlet, ugg boots, moncler, michael kors outlet online, sac lancel, pandora charms, louis vuitton, michael kors handbags, moncler, juicy couture, louis vuitton, coach outlet store online, canada goose uk, rolex watches, canada goose outlet, sac louis vuitton, karen millen, canada goose, barbour, canada goose, moncler, supra shoes
ninest123 10.29

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger mmjiaxin said...

polo shirts
supra shoes
tods shoes
ugg boots uk
barbour jackets
tommy hilfiger
hermes outlet
coach outlet online
polo ralph lauren
abercrombie and fitch
abercrombie and fitch
adidas outlet
uggs outlet
ralph lauren outlet
ugg clearance
hollister clothing
true religion jeans
kobe 9
tiffany outlet
cheap uggs
mm1127

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses wholesale, longchamp outlet, chanel handbags, replica watches, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet, prada outlet, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin, nike roshe, sac longchamp pas cher, louis vuitton, jordan pas cher, tiffany and co, christian louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade outlet, longchamp outlet, uggs on sale, gucci handbags, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, nike outlet, nike air max, polo outlet, nike free run, louboutin pas cher, tory burch outlet, jordan shoes, air max, michael kors pas cher, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton outlet, nike free, replica watches, ray ban sunglasses, burberry pas cher, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp pas cher, ugg boots, nike air max, polo ralph lauren, polo ralph lauren outlet online, oakley sunglasses

 
At 10:37 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

uggs outlet, vans pas cher, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, nike tn, abercrombie and fitch uk, burberry handbags, michael kors outlet, coach outlet store online, true religion outlet, uggs outlet, ray ban pas cher, hogan outlet, oakley pas cher, north face, michael kors, burberry outlet, michael kors, hollister uk, michael kors outlet online, true religion jeans, polo lacoste, ralph lauren uk, nike air force, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, sac hermes, michael kors outlet online, nike roshe run uk, converse pas cher, nike free uk, sac vanessa bruno, nike air max uk, michael kors outlet online, lululemon canada, kate spade, guess pas cher, mulberry uk, coach outlet, replica handbags, nike blazer pas cher, true religion outlet, timberland pas cher, nike air max, true religion outlet, hollister pas cher, ray ban uk, north face uk

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

instyler, new balance shoes, mac cosmetics, abercrombie and fitch, soccer shoes, insanity workout, reebok outlet, iphone 5s cases, north face outlet, wedding dresses, jimmy choo outlet, iphone 6 cases, ralph lauren, iphone 6 plus cases, celine handbags, mont blanc pens, giuseppe zanotti outlet, hollister, louboutin, nfl jerseys, hermes belt, oakley, babyliss, lululemon, hollister clothing, ipad cases, iphone 6s plus cases, longchamp uk, iphone cases, timberland boots, soccer jerseys, baseball bats, nike huaraches, mcm handbags, valentino shoes, chi flat iron, ferragamo shoes, bottega veneta, asics running shoes, s6 case, nike trainers uk, beats by dre, p90x workout, nike air max, ghd hair, north face outlet, nike roshe run, iphone 6s cases, vans outlet, herve leger

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, vans, wedding dresses, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, ugg uk, louis vuitton, moncler, karen millen uk, canada goose outlet, hollister, gucci, moncler, supra shoes, nike air max, moncler, toms shoes, lancel, ugg, marc jacobs, thomas sabo, barbour, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, louis vuitton, links of london, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour uk, pandora uk, pandora jewelry, montre pas cher, coach outlet, moncler outlet, canada goose outlet, ray ban, louis vuitton, moncler, doudoune moncler, canada goose, swarovski crystal, juicy couture outlet, converse outlet, replica watches, swarovski, moncler uk, ugg pas cher, hollister, canada goose jackets, canada goose uk, canada goose outlet, moncler outlet, canada goose, canada goose

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Liu Liu said...

Not Nike Free Run as surprising, however, is that by Monday afternoon, when christian louboutin Panettone spiked leather wallet the Vikings had media access NFL Rob Gronkowski Nike Jerseys with Zimmer and players once again, Nike Air Max 90 the incident was downplayed ad nauseum as cheap nfl jerseys a “miscommunication.”

Via Minneapolis Star Tribune beat reporter Matt Vensel, Rhodes NFL Tom Brady Jerseys used “miscommunication” christian louboutin men flat eight times as he spoke, nfl jerseys store and Nike Air Max 2015 Shoes downplayed the incident as something christian louboutin shoes that Christian Louboutin Women Flat was louboutin outlet straightened out after the first defensive christian louboutin uk series, not the first half. wholesale nfl jerseys

 

Post a Comment

<< Home