Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Common Sense is Instinct, Enough of it is Genius

Yesterday, I had enough of resting. If I take more than two days off, I am a bitch to live with. I got to go back to the gym and lift at lunch time. I haven't lifted for almost two weeks! I have a nice burn in my back and biceps today. I decided to go for the group bike ride yesterday evening too. I was planning on going for a recovery ride and stay with the slow group. The slow group consists of mostly women and new men cyclists. When I pulled into the parking lot, I saw none of my slow group friends expect one new guy. He told me he was going to try to go with the fast group. I went along and was the only female in the fast group/big boy pack.

The new guy just bought a new bike a few weeks ago and was getting used to clipping in and out. I tried to warn him that we had to stay with the pack or we'd get dropped. I told him to get as close as possible to the rider ahead of him to keep in the draft. He said he was scared to get too close. There were some slower guys ahead of me and when I tried to ride up toward the front of the pack, none of the men would let me in. First, I'm a woman. Second, they think I'm a Tri-geek because I have aero bars on a road bike. I can't wait until Clifford is put back into a road bike because it's not fun to ride with the guys and not use the aero bars. So, I stayed in the back and tried to keep up. Half way into the ride, we took a turn and I got dropped from the main pack. I'm still not fast going around turns and once I get out of their draft, I'm screwed. New guy looked strong and passed me, I tell him to go-go-go, keep the big boys in sight. Two men were behind me and for the last half of the ride, I rode alone. I was okay with riding alone because I wasn't expecting to ride really hard anyway.

When I was 6 miles away from the bike park, the last two guys come up behind me. "Good thing we caught you, we need help. Can you pull us for a little while?" I told them I would but I didn't think I'd provide much draft. They started playing the ring-around-a-rosy game. I'll pull, then go to the back, then the second guy pulls and goes to the back, ect, ect. They were really concerned about keeping the second pack in sight. One of the guys says that my friends and I shouldn't train so hard because he won't have any business. I ask him what type of business he's in. He tells me that they both are cardiologists. I decided to pick their brains for a little bit. I remembered my oncologist said that one of the drugs(adriamycin) he gave me during chemo could cause heart damage. I wasn't sure what type of damage, so I asked the heart doctors. It turns out it can cause cardiomyopathy. They also told me that the bleomycin I received causes lung damage and Lance Armstrong avoided that drug during his treatment. Oh well, I guess I'll never beat Lance! I ended up learning some things from the two heart doctors last night.

Four miles away from the bike park, one of the heart doctors says his legs are cramping up. I tell them we can slow down but they don't want to because they have to keep the pack ahead in sight. I look at their water bottles and they are completely full. We have been riding for over an hour and a half. I asked them if they have drank anything during the ride. They told me they hadn't had time, too busy trying to keep up. I remind them they need to stay hydrated and offer them a GU. They drink some water and swallow down a GU. They said they felt much better. Helloooo....McFly.......You guys are doctors but don't have enough common sense to drink fluids while working out?

We were the last group to get back to the bike park. I walk over to new guy and tell him he did a great job staying with the guys. He's really sweaty, his entire head is wet and his eyes are really bloodshot. He kinda looks like he's in la-la-land. I joke with him and say "You probably will never ride with the Sissy slow group again, huh?" He says "I'll never do this again, I'm afraid I won't be able to walk tomorrow."

I just don't understand men sometimes. They remind me of a dog that is chasing a bone. The dog that will chase the bone until it collapses from heat stroke. They can't stop themselves, their common sense has departed the building. When I am tired, I will stop. When I am thirsty, I will drink. When I am hungry, I eat. It's just basic instinct. I'm not a rocket scientist.

Which brings me to another dog after the bone story. This story is about one of my commenters, Bagpiper. Bagpiper is a great cyclist and he did his first sprint triathlon last weekend at White Lake. Bagpiper would sometimes swim at the pool with me in the mornings. We talk a lot of smack and joke around all the time. I can't beat Bagpiper on the bike but I can in the water. When we do sprints in the pool, Bagpiper would try his hardest to beat me. One morning, he was turning blue from lack of oxygen during 100 meter sprints. He was trying so hard to beat me, he wasn't taking enough breaths. To add fuel to the fire, I told Bagpiper he needed to do some more ab work because he was getting love-handles.

I get a phone call later that afternoon and hear that Bagpiper had to go to the emergency room. Turns out he decided not to eat any breakfast after our morning swim and he had an hypoglycemic attack. He blames me for this because I hurt his feelings when I joked with him about his love-handles. He decided not to eat breakfast because he didn't want his love-handles to grow. Once again, common sense guys... If you are hungry, you really should eat!

I got to watch Bagpiper run his first sprint. Let me tell you, he didn't look happy coming out of the water. When he finished the race he said he'd never do another triathlon again. He's going back to cycling and drinking beer only. I asked him how the swim went. He said he thought he'd drown. He had to hold on to the kayak twice. You do not know how badly I wish I was the one in the kayak he had to grab. I know he was probably purple colored. I'd remind him to use common sense and breathe every three strokes.

Ya know I love ya, Bagpiper. You'll always kick my ass on the bike. Thanks for playing the bagpipes while I was finishing my Half, it really was cool. I still don't know how you have enough air to play the bagpipes but not enough to swim?

8 Comments:

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Nancy Toby said...

LOL! You are definitely a woman after my own heart. :-)

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger Brett said...

You are funny. I kind definitely see the stupid side of me sometimes. :)

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger JF said...

You have to love Bagpiper. He did it! Let's remember OUR first tri! Ours were in a pool. His was in open water! That's guts and we know that he would do it, we just wasn't sure how. Congrats buddy! And we both know that he can take the smack talk! I love you man!

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Janet Edwards said...

I give you a lot of credit for your confidence to go out with the fast group and your common sense to ease off when your body wanted to.

At any rate, I bet many of the men are quite impressed with you!

 
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