Birthday Barbie

Today is my husband's birthday. I asked him what he wanted. He said he wanted ceasar salad,
bacon wrapped filet mignon and twice baked potatoes. As a surprise appetizer, I made him bacon wrapped water chestnuts. He likes bacon like Monty. I am preparing this feast with Snaggle right now.

He comes homes with this cake. A customer made it for him. It's his "stripper popping out of the cake."

I asked him why she would make him that type of cake.

He said she asked him what he wanted and he said he was "joking" and said, "A stripper jumping out of a cake!"

You men are about as smart as the guineas. I asked him why he didn't lick the icing off her breasts. Why bring her home intact?

When I bring home flowers in a mayo jar from some redneck farmer at market, they get thrown away by a jealous husband. I'll just eat your slut city present, honey! And I'm not joking.