I'm A Water Skiing Challenged Fool

I got up today, three times. I lasted only about 45 seconds tops, standing. But that is not the point. The point is, I have a handicap when it comes to water skiing. I'm not good at it and when I do succeed, it looks painful and uncoordinated.


My husband is trying to be nice and coach me. He keeps telling me to keep my legs together(one of the few times those words spill from his tongue), stay down like I'm squatting and keep my shoulders back. I keep falling and get really frustrated. He is starting too fast and pulling my arms out of their sockets. I tell him I want to see him ski, since he knows everything.

He shows me how to drive the boat. He teaches me how to circle back around for pick up without shredding him with the propeller. I listen and learn but secretly can't wait until I see him struggle to ski too.

I hate him sometimes. He got up the FIRST time.

And stayed up for longer than 2 minutes. He looked graceful and made it seem effortless. Snaggle kept shooting pictures of him and clapping. I went faster and he still was standing. I think he did so well because I'm such a good boat driver, yeah that's the ticket.

I decide I don't want to water ski anymore, Snaggle won't try it so we get the tube. The tube is very fun and very scary.
It is scary because Don likes to pull us so fast. He'll turn really fast one way, then the other. The tube is "playing crack the whip". I'd bet we sometimes reach speeds of 50mph.
The sign we made up for "stop" is to wave your hand in the air. You can see in the picture, Snaggle frantically waving. Don didn't stop. I just hear Snag screaming at the top of her lungs "STOP! STOP! AHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP! IM WAVING MY ARM- STOP!" I know better, he's having fun watching us screaming. He'll stop when he wants to. I honestly don't ever think I waved my arm. I am not crazy, I had a death grip on the tube while flying around. If I let got to wave, I'd go sailing through the air at 30mph. He did finally stop. I was thankful, my arms were getting tired.

Snaggle was mad, "God Dad! Didn't you see my arm waving? Are you freaking blind? Can you not see anything?"

Don yelled from the boat, "Oh honey, I thought you were waving because you were gleeful and having fun!"

Snaggle Said:

I waved stop!