Monday, July 31, 2006

Troubled Teen Mojo

I probably was the most difficult and disobedient child in my family. I think between the ages of 13-15, I drove my Mom to drink wine every night. My Mom hated two things, lying and black eyeliner.

When I turned 13, I started taking an interest in make-up. I was only allowed to wear Bonnie Bell lip gloss. A friend gave me a black eye liner and I thought it made me look so hot. One day, I came home from school with raccoon eyes and my Mom almost had a heart attack.

"What is that on your eyes? You look like a tramp! Take that off! You have natural beauty. You are never to wear that trashy make-up again."

Whatever, I decided just to put it on at school. Then, I'd wash it off before I came home. I wasn't a smart enough 13 year old to know that there was black smudges still around my eyes. When my mom came home, she asked me if I wore the black eye liner again. I lied and told her I didn't wear it. She went and got a Q-tip and circled my eyes with the white cotton tip. It turned black and I had black eye boogers. I got smacked with the hair brush and had to turn over my beloved black crayon.

But that paled in comparison to the July day before my eighth grade year. My mom and dad both worked so that left me home alone during summer break. I had rules, I wasn't to leave the neighborhood and only my best friend, Chrissy was allowed to come in our house. Chrissy and I got a phone call from some older high school boys. They wanted us to ride around with them in their parents' van. I would agree only if they took us to McDonald's, I was obsessed with super sized fries. They said we could stop for fries and I told them to meet us at the end of our street. I knew better than to let the nosey neighbors see me get into a van with boys, they'd tell on me.

They pick us up and we head to Mc'Ds. I was happily chowing down on my french fries when I heard a siren behind me. I turn around and a cop is following us , complete with siren blaring and flashing lights!
"Aren't you suppose to pull over?" I naively ask.

But we sped up and the cop is still on our tail. The older boys tell me to shut up. I can't eat my french fries because I sense trouble. A second police car comes flying out of a side street and is chasing us now too. Chrissy and I are screaming stop as we are sailing through a residential area at 55mph. Now we have four cop cars chasing us and I scream,
"If you do not stop, I will jump out of the van!"

The older boy comes to a screeching stop and the two of them jump out of the van. They try to run away but the cops are on them like flies on dog poo. They get clubbed in the dome piece with a night stick and cuffed. Chrissy and I are still sitting in the van holding our french fries, crying our fool heads off. I didn't know if I was going to get beat with the stick or not.

The cops take the boys away and come talk to us. I guess the brain trust boys hit a Porsche at the mall before they picked us up and drove away. It's called hit and run. I told the cop I didn't know anything about it, I just wanted some french fries. He told us we were too young to be hanging out with the bad boys. I told the cops I was sorry and I'd never see them again. I told them thanks for their concern and Chrissy and I would be moving along. We'd just walk home since the van was being impounded. I thought I was brilliant, our parents would never know!

The cop wasn't letting us off that easily though. "Where do you live?"
I assured him not very far away.
"What neighborhood and street?" he quizzed me.
I decided I better not lie and told the truth.
"Lowry Drive? That's over eight miles away. I am going to drive you girls home."

I broke out into the ugly cry, I was going to be driven home in a cop car! The neighbors would have a field day with this information. I had a plan, exit the cop car as quickly as possible. When he pulled up in my driveway, I'd jump out real fast and say "Thanks for the ride!"

When he pulled into the driveway, I couldn't find the handle to open the damn door. I was panicking, where is it? He informed me there was no handle, he had to open the door from the outside. I saw the neighbors looking through the windows as the cop walked me up to the house and invited himself inside. My parents weren't home yet. He left his number and told me my parents were to call him in the morning. If he didn't get a phone call, he'd come back to the house.

I saw my life flash before my eyes. My Mom was going to kill me. I called my oldest sister at work and told her what I did.

"You know Mom is going to really windmill you for this, don't you? You are only 13! You are way too worldly wise for your age. I think they need to send you to Christian school."

No sympathy.

My mom and her windmill. The windmill is when she smacks you repeatedly with both arms flailing. I asked my sister to send her boyfriend over, I needed some moral support when I broke the news to Mom.

I was grounded for the rest of the summer and couldn't hang out with Chrissy again. My sisters' boyfriend did come over when I told mom. It didn't spare me. Mom just had an audience while she windmilled me.

All for fucking super sized fries!?
** I couldn't resist playing Ice Ice Baby. It was the song that was playing on the stereo when we were pulled by the cops. My husband was begging me to remove the song from my blog, he hates it. Vanilla Ice is notorious on this farm. The baby goats dance like Vanilla Ice, the whipper snapping of the head and all. I've always questioned Ice, "Did you really hear shells hitting the pavement?"***


At 5:26 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Super sized fries ARE good, but probably not that good. But had you been going to the supermarket for some Jalepeno chips... hmmmm. That might almost be worth a good windmilling. :)

At 10:48 PM, Blogger Jessica A. Freas "Freeze" said...

Great story! There were several times that my friends and got into cars with the wrong people and age (how old do you have to be to drive), but fortunately I never got caught! But there were plenty of times that my sister ratted on me for other things! What are sisters for?

Keep the stories coming!

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Flatman said... of the best posts ever. Hilarious!

Mmmmm...McD's fries are the bomb (but not worth the windmill).

At 9:11 AM, Blogger Julia said...

OMG - I have a thirteen year old daughter who is constantly acting up, we fight day and night...but NOTHING like that! Thanks for the perspective :-)
It could be worse !

At 1:37 PM, Blogger DaisyDuc said...

Dang, good story. I got a few of those myself.

Maybe you should sue McDonald's for getting you in trouble.

At 3:08 PM, Blogger Stillwater Heron said...

Girl, you crack me up and I am forever in your debt for it!!!

At 7:57 PM, Blogger Miss Jenny said...

I love your stories. And I personally quite enjoy some vanilla ice.

At 1:17 AM, Blogger The Big Cheese said...

"You know Mom is going to really windmill you for this, don't you?"

That is Gold my dear, Gold.

At 2:53 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike air max, kate spade outlet online, longchamp outlet online, tory burch outlet online, louis vuitton, christian louboutin, polo ralph lauren, ray ban outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, true religion, louis vuitton outlet online, kate spade outlet, coach purses, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, christian louboutin outlet, tiffany and co jewelry, red bottom shoes, christian louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, tiffany jewelry, oakley sunglasses, true religion outlet, prada handbags, longchamp outlet, burberry outlet online, nike outlet, michael kors handbags, coach outlet, oakley vault, gucci handbags, nike free, longchamp handbags, coach outlet store online, prada outlet, louis vuitton handbags, burberry outlet online, coach outlet, michael kors outlet store, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet online, jordan shoes

At 2:58 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike air max, guess pas cher, sac michael kors, louis vuitton uk, true religion jeans, michael kors canada, converse pas cher, hermes pas cher, scarpe hogan, lululemon, michael kors uk, sac vanessa bruno, air jordan, timberland, oakley pas cher, nike free, lacoste pas cher, hollister, ray ban pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, north face pas cher, longchamp, mulberry, longchamp pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, burberry pas cher, chaussure louboutin, nike free pas cher, barbour, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, air max pas cher, air max, louis vuitton pas cher, north face, ralph lauren, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, tn pas cher, louis vuitton, nike roshe, hollister, nike air force, true religion outlet, sac louis vuitton, ray ban uk, new balance pas cher

At 3:05 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

north face jackets, canada goose, lululemon outlet, instyler ionic styler, ugg boots, babyliss pro, jimmy choo shoes, wedding dresses, canada goose outlet, marc jacobs outlet, uggs outlet, new balance outlet, mac cosmetics, nike trainers, chi flat iron, celine handbags, beats headphones, insanity workout, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, herve leger, mont blanc pens, abercrombie and fitch, birkin bag, ugg, asics shoes, ugg soldes, uggs on sale, north face outlet, reebok shoes, hollister, nike huarache, nike roshe, mcm handbags, bottega veneta, longchamp, giuseppe zanotti, replica watches, uggs outlet, p90x workout, ugg boots, soccer jerseys, ghd, nfl jerseys, canada goose outlet, vans outlet, soccer shoes, canada goose outlet, ugg outlet

At 3:11 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

timberland shoes, replica watches, iphone 6 case, moncler outlet, converse shoes, canada goose pas cher, baseball bats, uggs canada, lancel, hollister, canada goose, louis vuitton canada, coach outlet, vans, montre femme, parajumpers outlet, canada goose uk, wedding dress, gucci, canada goose, pandora jewelry, moncler, moncler, moncler, ralph lauren, moncler, oakley, moncler, swarovski jewelry, pandora uk, swarovski uk, toms outlet, louboutin, moncler, ray ban, hollister canada, nike air max, ugg, links of london uk, converse, juicy couture outlet, thomas sabo uk, karen millen, air max, hollister clothing, supra shoes, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet

At 10:21 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 10.29
nike free, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, air max, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet, rolex watches, tiffany and co, ugg outlet, polo ralph lauren, oakley sunglasses, longchamp handbags, jordan shoes, ray ban sunglasses, air max, oakley sunglasses cheap, louboutin, louis vuitton, burberry outlet, kate spade outlet, prada outlet, uggs, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, louis vuitton outlet stores, coach outlet, gucci outlet, nike shoes, michael kors outlet online sale, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, ugg boots clearance, prada handbags, louboutin shoes, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, cheap uggs, kate spade handbags, louboutin outlet, christian louboutin, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co, uggs outlet

At 10:26 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

michael kors outlet, nike free, michael kors uk, true religion jeans, hollister, hogan outlet, abercrombie and fitch, north face, true religion outlet, sac longchamp pas cher, nike tn, coach outlet store online, nike air max, nike trainers, lululemon outlet online, michael kors, nike air force, north face, nike roshe run pas cher, air max, true religion outlet, ray ban pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, polo lacoste, polo ralph lauren, longchamp, coach purses, new balance pas cher, louboutin, sac burberry, mulberry, nike huaraches, sac hermes, air max pas cher, coach factory outlet, ralph lauren, vans pas cher, nike roshe, oakley pas cher, vanessa bruno, converse pas cher, hollister, sac guess, air max, hollister, nike free pas cher, air jordan, timberland, true religion jeans, michael kors pas cher, longchamp

At 10:30 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

north face jackets, nfl jerseys, p90x, soccer shoes, instyler, air max, iphone 6s cases, louboutin, mcm handbags, north face outlet, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, nike roshe run, chi flat iron, converse, insanity workout, vans, air max, mac cosmetics, ray ban, wedding dresses, babyliss pro, timberland boots, iphone 6s plus cases, vans shoes, asics running shoes, gucci, abercrombie and fitch, reebok outlet, lululemon outlet, beats by dre, baseball bats, abercrombie, s6 case, ghd, ipad cases, celine handbags, ralph lauren, soccer jerseys, bottega veneta, oakley, mont blanc, jimmy choo outlet, hollister clothing store, new balance shoes, iphone cases, birkin bag, herve leger, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 plus cases, giuseppe zanotti, iphone 6 cases, nike blazer

At 10:34 PM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

juicy couture outlet, swarovski, swarovski crystal, ugg, hollister, barbour, moncler, moncler, canada goose, montre homme, ugg pas cher, michael kors outlet, moncler, canada goose, ugg, converse shoes, toms shoes, moncler, louis vuitton uk, ugg, canada goose, pandora jewelry, wedding dresses, doke gabbana, pandora jewelry, marc jacobs, thomas sabo, canada goose jackets, links of london, sac louis vuitton, moncler outlet, ugg boots, moncler, michael kors outlet online, sac lancel, pandora charms, louis vuitton, michael kors handbags, moncler, juicy couture, louis vuitton, coach outlet store online, canada goose uk, rolex watches, canada goose outlet, sac louis vuitton, karen millen, canada goose, barbour, canada goose, moncler, supra shoes
ninest123 10.29

At 7:52 PM, Blogger mmjiaxin said...

ferragamo shoes
michael kors outlet
rolex watches outlet
tory burch outlet online
michael kors handbags
coach outlet store
mac cosmetics
michael kors outlet online
wellensteyn outlet
michael kors outlet
canada goose outelt
air max 2014
ray ban,rayban,occhiali ray ban,ray-ban,ray ban occhiali,ray ban sunglasses
woolrich outlet store
fred perry polo shirts
michael kors outlet
tiffany outlet
canada goose jackets
oakley outlet store
mizuno running shoes

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Dalia Alaa said...

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Dalia Alaa said...


Post a Comment

<< Home