Friday, August 04, 2006

Too Much Information

Okay, I'm just going to warn you. This post has nothing to do with training or triathlon. My husband actually brought it to my attention that most of my posts don't. I do create race reports. I don't like talking about training all the time. Because my life is more exciting than running 6 miles, working my triceps and chest and spending some time next to my Mom on the elliptical today. I enjoy the comedy in life.

I kind of felt bad I didn't talk tri stuff today, after he brought it up. I thought maybe I should have two separate blogs. One about life and one about training. My husband asked me not to write this post but it amuses me. It's my blog for Christ Sake! I write it more for me than anyone else. I want to remember this moment five years from now, even though it's embarassing. Don't read it if you don't like it. I'm brutally honest, even if it makes me look bad. So, if you have a problem with sex or farting stop reading right this moment. I don't want any too much information comments. IMO

You have been warned. I tell this story because I'm sure it's happened before. Also, when it happens to you, you won't feel so alone.

Last night, I was too lazy and depressed/drunk about selling the goats to make dinner. I settled on a bowl of bran cereal and the Dannon Activa Yogurt. The yogurt that says it helps with digestive health. I usually eat this yogurt in the morning. It was my dessert last night.

I think I'm close to ovulating, my sex drive is up. This morning, we were making love before work. My stomach woke me up making weird noises. It looked kinda puffy. I was in the mood anyway and you know how you just go limp when you 'gasm? Well, I let out a really loud, long fart. It didn't stink but it was in fuckin' stereo.

I was in shock. I hardly ever fart, for real! It is like a treat for Don to hear me fart. He's always like "Aaaaawwwwwwww!! I heard that little trumpet toot you just did!" It's a baby beep noise.

What happened this morning, wasn't a trumpet. It was a tuba. I wasn't sure what to do. I pretended in my seconds of bliss he was deaf enough not to hear it. When I saw the expression on his face I knew he heard it. How could you not? I will still shocked, I bet it shook the headboard!

I started hysterically laughing. I mean hurt my AB muscles laugh. He did too. That is why I love him. He doesn't make me feel like a nasty buzzard, he just kept going. I'm not eating that Activa or Bran cereal at night anymore!


At 7:39 PM, Blogger Fe-lady said...

Funny story, but yes, hubby is right on here...too much information! (Does your Mom read your blog????) :-)

At 7:58 PM, Blogger Mojo said...

My Mom already knows. I told her while encouraging her on the elliptical this morning. She laughed.

Why, why, Fe-lady? I warned you.. Yet- you still had to say TMI! :)

At 8:14 PM, Blogger Papa Louie said...

It's happened once or twice in my 26 years of marriage. I can't remember if we laughed about it though. But, it is funny. I think guys get more humor out of fart jokes/stories than gals.

At 9:47 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

Hilarious! Thanks for sharing the personal stuff too. Life is about more than just training and is what makes reading blogs so interesting.

At 10:39 PM, Blogger Chris said...

OK, *WAY* personal, but I wouldn't have it any other way, I guess. I'm glad you both could laugh about it. :)

At 11:05 PM, Blogger Swordfish said...


I think you ought to have your own cable show.

Hilarious stuff ; )

At 11:21 PM, Blogger 21st Century Mom said...

Funny, profound, touching or sad - you get the prize for telling it like it is. Hysterical! I ♥ your stories - all of them.

I'll do the ♥ing and you do the farting, k?

At 3:40 AM, Blogger Julia said...

I'd much rather read about your farts than a boring ride on a bike! Everybody farts, just nobody wants to admit it.

At 10:04 AM, Blogger Bolder said...

personally, i think the post was about triathlon.

sometimes, by the time i get to the run, and i've had all of that gatorade, and gels, and clif bars i get gassy.

well, it can get noisy. so, i think this was just YOUR way of telling me it's ok if i do something about it.

that's my story, and i'm stickin' to it. hey, i told everyone we've been learning a lot about you in the last week...

although it's been lost on my blog lately because of my journey to Iron (seems related to your story again somehow)... my blog is not supposed to be just about triathlon, it's supposed to be about my aspiration to lead a bolder life than i was leading.

plus, somedays, i just like to post pictures of fruits.

At 7:53 PM, Blogger jeanne said...

married people make love? Who knew?

At 8:02 AM, Blogger E-Speed said...

LOL David and I would have laughed about something like that too. You are not alone!

At 11:02 AM, Blogger Siren said...

Please don't change a thing about your blog - I get so tired of reading about mileage and calories. I love hearing about the real lives of my fellow triathletes, it's a great reminder that we're not all one-dimensional and we care about more than this sport.

I thought this was hilarious. A couple weeks back I had a similar incident - the dog was lying with his head in my lap, I was just about asleep and one of the tuba variety slipped out. The dog jumped out of his skin - my husband witnessed the whole thing and laughed his ass off.

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