Thursday, December 28, 2006

Finding Balance

Hello Tri Blogger friends! I hope you had a great holiday season. I haven't been writing because I didn't know where to start, it's not so easy to write about our mistakes or faults. Since I am home, recovering from the flu high on Thera-Flu, I decided it's a good day to spill the beans. The year is coming to a close and many things have changed in the last few months. Life is all about change though. It's how we handle the changes that makes all the difference.

First things first, I doubt I will be competing in triathlon in 2007. I am not using the gym that has the only pool in town anymore. My only other alternative is drive 45 minutes each way to an indoor pool out of town. That would mean I would spend over one and a half hours driving just to swim. I've been thinking a lot about my year training for triathlon. I wouldn't change anything but I have learned a lot. I have learned I tend to go to extremes. Just last year, I was sitting here in front of this computer and signed up for eight races my first season, one of those was a half Ironman. I really didn't think about how that would affect my life and those around me.

I jumped head first into training. I was obsessed, now that I look back, I can see it sometimes consumed me. I would stress out if I missed a bike ride or long run because I needed to spend time with my family. I thought I needed to train everyday. When I first signed up for the races my ultimate goal was just to finish the half. I thought that it would fulfill me, that I would be proving myself. I didn't think that one out either. Who exactly was I proving myself to and what was I proving?

Don't get me wrong, I was very proud that day I finished the half. I trained hard and thought I did well. When I go back and look at those pictures, I always smile. It was a great day that I will never forget. As my season wore on, I didn't enjoy racing as much. I think it was around the time of Bandit's Challenge that I started questioning myself. Honestly, I do not like competing/racing. I can train all year long and be happy as a clam. Once I'm standing at the edge of the lake waiting for the horn to blow, I'm a barrel of nerves. I hate that feeling! I think I'll probably always be this way though so I'll just learn to deal with it.

Maybe I signed up for too much too soon. I burned the candle at both ends. I did complete all eight races I signed up for and met my goals. There was a sacrifice too. I was selfish and put my training before my family, friends, animals and business. I wouldn't change anything though because I learned some valuable lessons.If I hadn't "tri"ed, I would have never known.

I'm sure I will compete in some triathlons in the future, it is a wonderful sport. The people were always kind and encouraging. I really enjoyed having three sports in one race. In 2007, I think I'll focus more on the bike. That way, I can still spend some time with my tri training friends too. Maybe I'll even sign up for a few cycling races. After all, Bolder has always said, "It's all about the bike." I'm still doing a lot of weight training, M-F. I will always be physically active even if I'm not doing triathlon. I actually like how my body looks now more than when I was training for triathlon.

I want to focus more on my soap making business in 2007. I didn't make much product at all during tri season. I need to make some decisions about my product line. I need to narrow down my fragrance line, I can't make 100 different types of soaps and have them all in stock. I'd like to eventually go online but I'm trying to learn to take things slowly. I should sell to some more area boutiques and stores first so I get a better grasp of high production.

I want to start volunteering for Hospice. It's something I have thought about for months. Hospice was there to care for my step dad and father in-law. I think I have an intimate understanding about cancer and dying. The hospice workers were great people to have during a difficult time. Even if I just went grocery shopping or gave someone a foot rub or bathed the family dog, I think it would fulfill me. I've come to realize I feel the best about myself when I give to others. I remember when my step-dad was dying, I'd go to my Mom's house everyday just so she could talk to me or go for a walk. Sometimes, she just needed to get out of that environment. One day, she left while I stayed with my step-dad. When she came home, I asked her where she went. She said she didn't remember, she just drove around in the car for two hours. After my step-dad passed away, she told me it meant so much to have me around during that time. It helped keep her sane.

Finally, I'm going to work on being a better wife. I felt like 2006 was a lot about me and not enough about my husband. He was there for me every race. In the scorching sun and pounding rain, he was there cheering me on and taking pictures. He never complained. He took time off from work to travel with me to races. He was my number one fan. I took it for granted sometimes. Looking back, I couldn't ask for a better supporter, even when he bonked me in the head when I crashed Falcor at Pee-Dee! He was right there to pick me up when I fell. In 2007, I'm going to put more of my energies and time into our relationship. He's already asked that we plan a little weekend trips once a month. If I was training for triathlon, I may have protested because I would be missing a bike ride or swim session. I know better now, I'm trying my best to keep my priorities and balance in life in check. For Christmas, we went away to the mountains and I didn't worry about training one bit. I enjoyed my time alone with my husband.

"I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time." Oprah Winfrey


At 12:19 PM, Blogger tarheeltri said...

I can tell you learned alot in the past year and are making changes to be even happier. That's all you can really do. Good luck in 2007!

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Flatman said...

Those are some great lessons you learned, Mojo. Congrats on the enlightenment. Hope you find all the hapiness in the world. As long as you keep riding your bike, Bold and I will be happy!

Good luck.

At 1:34 PM, Blogger 21st Century Mom said...

Sounds like your year of triathlon taught you some great lessons and your ensuing year of not-triathlon will be a great one. What better things to devote yourself to than your marriage and hospice? I don't know how I would have dealt with my mother's choice to succumb to cancer and die at home if I hadn't had the support of hospice. Those people were like angels.

Enjoy 2007! Please keep writing about whatever. In addition to being a triathlete natural you are a born story teller.

Last of all - if you do decide to go on-line with the soap let me know. I'm no expert but I do know a thing or two and am more than willing to help you out.

Happy New Year!

At 3:42 PM, Blogger nancytoby said...

Great to hear from you , Mojo! I sure hope you keep blogging, because you are a great writer even when it has nothing at all to do with triathlon.

It's kind of sad that you felt compelled, for whatever reason, to push yourself beyond the point where it was no fun any more. I do hope that you can find a way to get back to that "happy place" in your fitness activities!

The minute you go online with your products, you have a bunch of customers like me already lined up for you!!

At 11:13 AM, Blogger Jill said...

Just keep posting, please!! I love reading about what you have to say!! Have a wonderful 2007 and I am glad you spent Christmas with the ones you love.

At 12:59 PM, Blogger Julia said...

Take this as a compliment: I never came to your blog to read about your triathlons or training. I came to read about you and the funny things you talk about and the silly stories about kissing guys in High School and your soapmaking adventures. Out of all your pictures from the past year, the one where you look most content is the one with your husband at Christmas.
I'm really looking forward to reading what this year brings to/for you.
Love you Mojo! Happy New Year!

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Kim said...

aw it seems like 2007 will be chock full of great things! :) wishing you a happy happy new year!

At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's really nice having you back, I've missed you Mojo.
Your a wonderful story teller!
I hope 2007 is a year full of wonderful living for you and yours :)

At 5:24 PM, Blogger Robin said...

Good for you; you're figuring things out. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

At 8:07 PM, Blogger Papa Louie said...

Life is full of wonderful opportunities and finding balance brings us peace. May you continue to enjoy life.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Brett said...

Good for you. Cycling full-time will make you much stronger when you do decide to come back to tris. The babies are coming along nicely, thanks for asking. My wife is getting really big, but doing well. Tri's are going to be on the back burner for me as well this year ... :)

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