Finding Balance

Hello Tri Blogger friends! I hope you had a great holiday season. I haven't been writing because I didn't know where to start, it's not so easy to write about our mistakes or faults. Since I am home, recovering from the flu high on Thera-Flu, I decided it's a good day to spill the beans. The year is coming to a close and many things have changed in the last few months. Life is all about change though. It's how we handle the changes that makes all the difference.

First things first, I doubt I will be competing in triathlon in 2007. I am not using the gym that has the only pool in town anymore. My only other alternative is drive 45 minutes each way to an indoor pool out of town. That would mean I would spend over one and a half hours driving just to swim. I've been thinking a lot about my year training for triathlon. I wouldn't change anything but I have learned a lot. I have learned I tend to go to extremes. Just last year, I was sitting here in front of this computer and signed up for eight races my first season, one of those was a half Ironman. I really didn't think about how that would affect my life and those around me.

I jumped head first into training. I was obsessed, now that I look back, I can see it sometimes consumed me. I would stress out if I missed a bike ride or long run because I needed to spend time with my family. I thought I needed to train everyday. When I first signed up for the races my ultimate goal was just to finish the half. I thought that it would fulfill me, that I would be proving myself. I didn't think that one out either. Who exactly was I proving myself to and what was I proving?

Don't get me wrong, I was very proud that day I finished the half. I trained hard and thought I did well. When I go back and look at those pictures, I always smile. It was a great day that I will never forget. As my season wore on, I didn't enjoy racing as much. I think it was around the time of Bandit's Challenge that I started questioning myself. Honestly, I do not like competing/racing. I can train all year long and be happy as a clam. Once I'm standing at the edge of the lake waiting for the horn to blow, I'm a barrel of nerves. I hate that feeling! I think I'll probably always be this way though so I'll just learn to deal with it.

Maybe I signed up for too much too soon. I burned the candle at both ends. I did complete all eight races I signed up for and met my goals. There was a sacrifice too. I was selfish and put my training before my family, friends, animals and business. I wouldn't change anything though because I learned some valuable lessons.If I hadn't "tri"ed, I would have never known.

I'm sure I will compete in some triathlons in the future, it is a wonderful sport. The people were always kind and encouraging. I really enjoyed having three sports in one race. In 2007, I think I'll focus more on the bike. That way, I can still spend some time with my tri training friends too. Maybe I'll even sign up for a few cycling races. After all, Bolder has always said, "It's all about the bike." I'm still doing a lot of weight training, M-F. I will always be physically active even if I'm not doing triathlon. I actually like how my body looks now more than when I was training for triathlon.

I want to focus more on my soap making business in 2007. I didn't make much product at all during tri season. I need to make some decisions about my product line. I need to narrow down my fragrance line, I can't make 100 different types of soaps and have them all in stock. I'd like to eventually go online but I'm trying to learn to take things slowly. I should sell to some more area boutiques and stores first so I get a better grasp of high production.

I want to start volunteering for Hospice. It's something I have thought about for months. Hospice was there to care for my step dad and father in-law. I think I have an intimate understanding about cancer and dying. The hospice workers were great people to have during a difficult time. Even if I just went grocery shopping or gave someone a foot rub or bathed the family dog, I think it would fulfill me. I've come to realize I feel the best about myself when I give to others. I remember when my step-dad was dying, I'd go to my Mom's house everyday just so she could talk to me or go for a walk. Sometimes, she just needed to get out of that environment. One day, she left while I stayed with my step-dad. When she came home, I asked her where she went. She said she didn't remember, she just drove around in the car for two hours. After my step-dad passed away, she told me it meant so much to have me around during that time. It helped keep her sane.

Finally, I'm going to work on being a better wife. I felt like 2006 was a lot about me and not enough about my husband. He was there for me every race. In the scorching sun and pounding rain, he was there cheering me on and taking pictures. He never complained. He took time off from work to travel with me to races. He was my number one fan. I took it for granted sometimes. Looking back, I couldn't ask for a better supporter, even when he bonked me in the head when I crashed Falcor at Pee-Dee! He was right there to pick me up when I fell. In 2007, I'm going to put more of my energies and time into our relationship. He's already asked that we plan a little weekend trips once a month. If I was training for triathlon, I may have protested because I would be missing a bike ride or swim session. I know better now, I'm trying my best to keep my priorities and balance in life in check. For Christmas, we went away to the mountains and I didn't worry about training one bit. I enjoyed my time alone with my husband.


"I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time." Oprah Winfrey